Lessons From The Bedside Of The Dying
Today my father would have been 100. I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately as I sat beside my dying father-in-law.
Even though the circumstances of their deaths were different and the passings were almost 30 years apart, there are commonalities when you are sitting at the bedside of the dying.
As a writer, I deal with stress and strife by writing. I have written enough details about hospitals to include hospital scenes in books for the rest of my life.
I can tell that I’ve grown as a writer in the last 20 odd years. The notes written at my father’s bedside are filled with facts, sounds, and smells.
My recent notes include my feelings as I combed my father-in-law’s soft, white, hair or sat quietly listening to his labored breathing.
Emotion breaths life into writing. While harder for the writer, revealing emotions draws the reader into the story. He becomes a participant and not merely an observer.
No matter the circumstances, there are lessons to be learned as we sit at the bedside of the dying.
You are forced to live in the moment. You focus on the patient’s immediate needs and/or their next breath.
You realize that other problems aren’t nearly as important as you thought they were. Dying puts living into perspective.
You are reminded how fleeting, fragile, and precious life really is. Treasure every moment of it. Live as if this moment may be your last, or the last moment for someone you love.
I learned a lot from both of these wonderful men, although Daddy had passed before I met Bob. I will miss the walks, the talks and especially the advice.
I will take the wisdom and knowledge they gave me with me through the rest of my life.
Write on,
Lynn Jordan
Somtimes the loss of a parent does not hit for sometime later. It could be days, months years later. It begins with seeing something that reminds you oaf your parents. Or something someone says. Or even you go about your daily life and you notice people that look just like them.
There is a saying when that happens it is like the image of their face is superimposed over the person’s face we are seeeing. Just to remind us they have not forgotten us.